Home Run

***lifted this from my multiply acct...made this last 2008

Statistics tells me that the most recent update on the world's death rate is approximately 8.32% per 1000 population and that is as of Nov 6, 2008 . A number of which died while giving birth and upon birth, Some died of hunger, others died of violence, majority died of diseases..yet some, they just died. more than a week ago I posted something about changes being one of the constant thing here on earth and I did mention that there are actually 3 of them...So change would be the first and now DEATH would be the second.
Webster defined death as the end of life; a state of being dead; destruction, extinction..Well they could have given a better definition of it like something more appealling than just being lifeless..but I myself can't think of any so I guess I'll stick to this definition for now. Anyhow, I was watching OTH season 6 earlier and there is an ep were one of their good good friend got shot in a gas station, and I just remembered that I had a friend who succumbed more than a month back. She suffered from internal hemorrhage and multiple organ failure, for some reason her kidneys just shut down, and her liver got extremely damaged, and eventually her lungs collapsed and she just stopped breathing. And so right now it made me ask Why is death so sudden? she even watched the 1st game of our college volleyball team with one of our teammates 3 days before she got confined in the hospital and she keeps on telling our friend how stoked she is to attend the oath taking for those who just passed the med tech boards. Evening of that day she had a fever but she ignored it thinking that it would subside with just a pill or two, it did subside for a while but it reccured and it hit her so bad this time that she needed to go to the hospital 3 days after. The doctors diagnosed it as dengue hemorrhagic fever, however unlike the conventional dengue virus, this string of virus that she had is strange, deadly and serious that even 3 hospitals (one being a top calibrated institution) cannot decipher and explain the series of events that happened. She sufferred for 10 agonizing days and during her last days she is barely living through machines and venitalor attched to her body. I wasn't able to visit her during those days that she is still breathing because I was so caught up with my job and my hands were tied. on the afternoon of the day that I finally got the liberty to visit her, that is when I learned that she's gone, and I was full of remorse and regrets and I hated myself for it. And so I ask..Why is death so sudden?! One day she is full of life, hope, happiness and dreams..and the next day she's hard and cold. You would say its unfair but I blame no one for it..well I blame me for not being able to visit her during her last days coz I was hopeful that she would get through it, I guess I was wrong...but blaming God for it? I never did...not in a heartbeat..not a chance...because I believe in my heart that she has served her purpose and His wisdom is by far greater than all of us. Going back to OTH s6, there is a paricular scene there that hit me big time, that is when Haley and Nathan Scott were having a convo about not bringing Jamie to Quentin's funeral. Haley said: " I don't like to bring Jamie to Q's funeral..he is only 5 years old and he loved Q so much so it will be hard for him to say goodbye..It's gonna be SAD and FINAL..." Grief is like an ocean, it's dark, deep and bigger than all of us and it could swallow us in whole and the pain..Oh that pain is like a thief in the night robbing and sucking all the life remaining in us and for some...even sanity. On the other hand, death is dreadful for those counting each millisecond, second, minute, hour, day, week, month and year of their lives. Most of them are worried of their loved ones that they would be leaving behind. ..of relationships that they fail to rekindle...of words that were left unspoken...of dreams that were just hanging in there. This is the mere reality of death...sad indeed. However, we do imprint our marks here on earth just like in the graffittis I often see saying " I WAS HERE". On a lighter note, Archeologists dig from all places over the world just to find some letters written by dead people who are by far famous right now because of the life they had. But what could these people be actually thinking? I did ask myself before : "What is the point of existence, of life, of love, of dreams...of just being here...asking. And without thinking I said...it is POINTLESS. But recently did I realize that everything is not pointless..everything actually has its reason but my answer could have been a proud and loud I DON'T KNOW. I admit that I can be a wise ass sometimes but honestly I am clueless and I barely know all the answeres to these freaking questions..So it would serve me better not to ask many questions you think?hehe...But those people from the past are just like me, they too are wise asses with a lot of what-is-the-point-of questions through out the course of their lives and at the back of their great minds, they have no answers whatsoever to all these, and some even died not knowing all the answers. But they are wiser asses than I am and figured out a way to find clarity to all these.They documented their lives hoping that someday some nosy archeologist would dig into the ground and find their stories written in a peice of paper and would analyze their lives and contributions to the society, and so that makes their mark on earth and it is there "I was here". To us, every lives we come in contact with, every single soul that we touch, and everything that we left off in the hearts of our family, friends, enemies, exes, neighbors, teammates, schoolmates, colleauges, co-workers, online buddies and even of our pets will always have an "I was here" mark. OUr DNAs are scattered from places that we have treaded and people will always remember us in many ways.Final...is far from what I have perceived about death. For dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return. Death maybe a final state just here on earth but it is a beginning of something more beautiful, bountiful and amazing that is beyond description. We are God's stewards over this life that we possess and so time will come when we needed to surrender this back to Him. There is nothing dreadful about death when you know you are saved by grace..because there is a place far from earth that is precious than any other and we call it Heaven. Heaven's door is open for those who believe that Jesus and only Jesus is the way, the truth and the life and that no one can come to the Father except through Him and so salvation is through Him and by Him only. There is this song that I trully love and its lines goes like this: "...A place where we love one another, and shelters us in time of storm...A place where no one will ever be hungry or cold, no one will hurt or will ever grow old..It is a place where truth can be spoken and promises can be believed..A place where our hearts can't be broken and love ones will never leave.." Life here on earth is indeed a treasure, but I know that this home is not forever and so I long for this life waiting beyond...and that's when I know I'm finally home.

Thank YOU

Today is Wednesday and its midweek. Normally, my energy wears off as the week progresses and I usually whine with just about anything in my life, especially about work. I found this in my inbox a few minutes ago. One of my colleagues sent me this poem and for a brief second, it changed my day..So today, I will not whine..I will not grumble..I will not complain...But i will be thankful..


I AM THANKFUL: FOR THE WIFEWHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE HUSBANDWHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR MESSES TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANSI HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW WHICH WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING, AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.

FOR MY HUGE ELECTRICITY BILLB ECAUSE IT MEANS I AM COOL.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCHWHO SINGS OFF KEY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL,
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

Salvation

I find it difficult to juggle my mind when I have to write or talk about something good about my life...the words doesnt't come out right. Ironically, its hard to find the inspiration to do so when its just there right around the corner poking me in the eye yet I couldn't even see...these emotions should be the pillar of these ramblings yet it doesn't come tumbling down. However, with all the energy in me, I'll give it a shot.

A few months back, I've been blinded by the overwhelming pain of too much expectancy and failed reality so as a result, I turned out being ungrateful..with what I have..with what has been given to me..with what has been left of me, I despise it from the pit of my gut.I am the epitome of self pity, thinking I had noboody to run to when Im wounded and nothing to claim and be proud of. I thought less of myself and In that dark corner of my world, I lie wide awake..little do I know of what future lies ahead of me,I careless!But I am a gem..a precious one. For by grace I am saved..by faith and not by sight. I am elected...i am chosen, and this I have to be proud of. And whatever I have done in the past and whatever I will be doing in the future, I have that security that will never be stripped away from me. I am His child therefore I am persecuted.
Now it all makes sense...its there right around the corner and I haven't seen it. This gift I have. And I am sorry..forgive me for not being me lately.