Our very last conversation: Saturday Feb 12,2011..Taytay new market....
Tita Rosie: Ay Katrina, ano ga yang pasan pasan mong sako na iyan?
Kate: E naglinis ho si mommy ng cabinet ni ate, sobrang daming damit hindi na magkasya kaya eto at isinako na nya yung iba para maibahagi sa Mindoro.
Tita Rosie: Amina at ipapamahagi ko sa mga pinsanan at mga mangyan doon. Ay katrina, anong payat mo na! Mahihili si nanay mo niyan..ay sabihin mo sa kanya: oy mommy, tingnan mo ako, payat na ako.
Kate: hay naku tiya, e baka lumagok ng isang boteng gamot pampapayat iyon, mahirap na!
Tita Rosie: hahahaha oo nga noh...hahahahhahahahahahha
Rosita Rabano Contreras...a loving wife and mother..a giving aunt..an understanding daughter..caring grandmother...passed away yesterday as of 3:30pm. I've known her as the jolliest person in my universe...I've never seen her sad or angry or frustrated. Every time I visit her in their banana stall (by the way, she's a biyahera of whatever produce we have in Mindoro, e.g banana, coconut, mango..yadda yadda yadda), she never fail to flash the most genuine smile. I could hang around their banana stall , talking and catching up with her for hours and hours without noticing the time. Ask anything and she'll provide it to the best of her ability. She gives whatever we need and she gives more than what we expect. She never ask for anything in return..I remember last Christmas when she said "Katrina, akin na lang yung mga tuta ni Lyka o ni Brownie...aalagaan ko sila, kahit wala ka ng pamasko sa akin, yung mga tuta na lang..lahat sila dalhin mo sa kin..mamahalin ko sila" I can't help but shed a tear every time I remember her saying these words. She loved the unlovable and took extra care of it. I even remember her saying: "Ano ga naman yung tutang itim na ibinigay mo neng, ay sa ayaw kumaen! Gulping bilhan ko pa ng kornbip para lang kumain..naninibago wari" She fed the dog cornbeef while she eats tuyo. Last Wednesday night,tito Junior and I were reminiscing all of the good times we had with tita Rosie when he said this: "alam mo neng, nung linggo ng umaga umuwi iyan na may dala dalang sako, tinanong ko kung ano gang laman ng sakong iyon at binaktot pa niya pauwi sa atin, sabi niya...Iya'y wag mo gagalawin,...pinasan ni Katrina yan pa palengke, pamigay sa mga pinsanan at mangyan...naawa ako kay Katrina, sa bigat niyan! Akalain mo'y dala dala nya yan mula parking hanggang sa pwesto na walang kahiya hiya..hay naku, wag mong gagalawin iyan!" Needless to say, I found myself weeping and choking of my own sobs.
Tita went home last Sunday from Manila doing the usual thing she does every weekend. Except this time, she had an episode of stroke where 66cc of blood clotted in the left hemisphere of her brain while leaving her body in a coma state. Since technology and advancement in science are scarce in that area, her body needs to be transported to Manila for surgery. As some may have known, my immediate family of 4 are all medically inclined. Dad is a medical technician, mom is a midwife, ate is a nurse, and I am a pharmacist. By saying that, it is our responsibility to assist family members who are ill and need to be brought to the hospital. By the time the news broke, Mom and Dad were on their way to Zamboanga to visit lolo and other relatives in dad's side. Meanwhile, ate cannot skip work, so I as the only one available and has all the luxury time in the world to spend, had to be there and be the mediator between the doctors and the relatives. I had to be there to explain and help them understand what has been happening all along. I had to be there to help my cousins and uncle make a decision as to what shall be done. I had to be there to have them share the burden with me..to console them when I myself needs to be consoled...I had to remain strong. I was there all along, seeing what seems to be and an indescribable pain and unfathomable sorrow looking through the eyes of her husband, daughters, siblings and friends who brought her in. I was there to witness and experience the fear that in any minute, the Lord might take her away from us. And it was hard...it was hard to be their eyes, their ears, their mouth and their shoulders when I myself has been struggling to remain calm and collected amidst the situation. For the love of tita Rosie and all that she is and was to me...I had to be there and I will never ever regret a single thing.
Death is so sudden...it's like a thief in the night that would rob us out of our happiness and sanity and leave us with nothing but indefinable grief and pain. And as it unfolds before our eyes, we can't do anything but to accept and take in all the pain and sorrow and pray that eventually, we could get past this stage. Grief is a cycle and you can never get past one stage without experiencing the rest. According to Kubler Ross, there are 5 stages of grief ...first would be denial...second, anger...third, bargaining...fourth, depression...fifth, acceptance. And where are we right now? I guess we are in the acceptance phase of the cycle. As much as we would want to jump in and revive her through aggressive measures...we chose not to. We let death creep in and take its place as we watch her almost lifeless form deteriorate like rotten fruit...DNR...last order in the list..and boom! She's gone. We wanted to fight for her life but who are we to prolong the agony that she is experiencing as she struggle in her death bed? Who are we to deprive her of the comfort that she would get once she sits beside the throne of our loving Father? Who are we to question the mind of the Lord when we know that His mind is wiser than anything and anyone else and His purpose is far beyond our knowledge can grasp? So as painful as it may seem and as hard as we perceive it to be, we cannot do anything but to let go and accept the fact that she's gone..that she's never coming back. Her smiles we can see no more...her laughs we can hear no more...her hugs we can feel no more but her love that she unselfishly divided to each family member will always reign and will always radiate in places where we see her...in our hearts. Today, I pray that we find comfort in the idea that she is in a better place right now where she will never feel pain, or hunger, or thirst, or sorrow....May your soul rest in peace Tita Rosie...you will always be remembered and every bits and pieces of memory you have imparted in us will remain in our hearts forever. I bid farewell for now, but I know in my heart, that we'll see each other again...We love you.
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